By Dave Roberts
I recently returned from a week-long trip to Golden, Colorado. My wife Cheri and I got a chance to relax and explore some attractions in and around the Golden area. Our primary purpose for being there, however, was to witness our youngest son Matt marrying the love of his life Jodi, in a beautiful, intimate venue on Lookout Mountain. It was a beautiful ceremony with both sides of our families being well represented. There was one conspicuous physical absence on our side of the family, however…..my daughter Jeannine. I recently returned from a week-long trip to Golden, Colorado. My wife Cheri and I got a chance to relax and explore some attractions in and around the Golden area. Our primary purpose for being there, however, was to witness our youngest son Matt marrying the love of his life Jodi, in a beautiful, intimate venue on Lookout Mountain. It was a beautiful ceremony with both sides of our families being well represented. There was one conspicuous physical absence on our side of the family, however…..my daughter Jeannine.
Jeannine died on March 1, 2003, at the age of 18, due to a rare form of cancer. Since her death, I have received numerous signs or after death communications from her. Signs reveal to us that our loved ones are ok, that they desire to have an ongoing relationship with us, and that we will see them again in the afterlife.
I have discovered through conversation with others and my own experiences that the signs we receive from our loved ones are usually a product of what is happening with us or around us in the present moment.
As our family was preparing to celebrate Matt and Jodi’s nuptials, I expected that Jeannine would make her presence known before and after the wedding.
The number 301 reflected the month and day of Jeannine’s death, a definite indication that she heard my invite to join us in Colorado for her brother’s wedding. On July 3rd, me and my wife along with her sister took another trip to Lookout Mountain to explore the Buffalo Bill Museum and his gravesite. I lingered for a bit by Buffalo Bill’s grave; my wife and her sister were walking towards the museum. I noticed a butterfly flying in a circular route, several times around Buffalo Bill’s grave. A couple of times, she flew quite near to me. She eventually decided to take a brief respite before taking flight once again.
My first experience with the non-ordinary phenomenon (signs) that I can recall after Jeannine’s death was during the summer of 2003. I was walking around my neighborhood and discovered that a butterfly was following me and hovering over me for a good portion of my walk. At the time this butterfly appeared, Jeannine was prominent in my thoughts. As I was then, I was convinced that the butterfly I saw on Lookout Mountain was a sign sent by my daughter.
The keynote of the butterfly, according to Ted Andrews(Animal Speak) is transmutation and the dance of joy. Butterfly reminds us that shapeshifting our perspective is necessary after a loss and that the experience of joy after a loss is also possible. I wish to conclude this piece with the benefits that I have discovered by incorporating signs into my personal grief path and some miscellaneous observations. Before I begin, I would encourage you to become familiar with the types of after death communications that occur. Two great resources for increasing your technical knowledge in this area are:: Visions of the Bereaved, by Kay Witmer Woods and Hello From Heaven by Bill and Judy Guggenheim. Observations•
- The perception of signs is a subjective process, unique to each individual.That process is driven by evidence of the heart and must be honored by those who are privileged to bear witness to it.
- We don’t have to wait for our loved ones to give us a sign of their presence. We can create a sacred space where we can communicate with our loved ones at any time. Jeannine and I shared a love of music. When I am yearning for her presence, I will listen to some music that we both enjoyed while keeping her in my thoughts. Doing this always brings me peace. Benefits
- I am able to see Jeannine’s death as a rebirth into a new existence and that we share a relationship that is pure, ongoing and constantly evolving.
- Openly sharing my experience with signs has allowed me to attract people who have committed to ongoing awareness and thinking multidimensionality. They inspire me, which in turn motivates me to inspire others.
- Perhaps the greatest teaching that I have discovered through my experience with signs is that not only do we eventually learn to live without our children’s physical presence but that we eventually learn to love with their eternal presence.
Dave Roberts, LMSW is a retired addiction professional and an adjunct professor of psychology at Utica College. He is a past HuffPost contributor and a speaker on grief and loss locally and nationally. Dave is also the chapter leader for The Compassionate Friends of the Mohawk Valley. Dave may be contacted at- firstname.lastname@example.org